Oh Ma'am

Today I was the victim of a verbal assault. Okay, that's not totally true. Actually, it's not even remotely true, but a guy said something to me in the grocery store aisle that hit me like a slap to the face. What spiteful thing could have possibly been so hurtful? He said, "Oh, excuse me, ma'am."

It wasn't so much the "ma'am" that did it. I live in the South- I've been called ma'am with some regularity since I was 14. It was the speed with which this college-age guy said it. It was an automatic ma'am, which means I officially look old enough to warrant an instant, old-lady, ma'am. Ouch.

When did that happen? I mean, sure I'm poking 40 with a VERY short stick, but I'm still cool!! Nevermind that my shopping cart contained wrinkle cream and hair dye to cover all my gray, I am young and fabulous! I went to a rock show last night! On a TUESDAY! I didn't get home until AFTER MIDNIGHT! So what if my knees hurt today and I could barely drag myself out of bed this morning? I am a happening chick, not some dowdy old ma'am.

But the whole thing did make me wonder, when do you start feeling your age? I have all the trappings of adulthood- marriage, house, kids, minivan, but I still feel like the same person I was at 20. When do I become a proper matron? Will I exchange my ponytail for a beauty shop rinse and set? Will I phase out graphic t-shirts and retro dresses in favor of a sensible pantsuit? Will I stop swearing like a sailor???

I don't know, and I guess only time will tell. But I can say this for certain, the generation ahead of me, my parents and their pals, give me great hope. They're cool. They're pushing 60 or more, and they're cooler than me! Better dressed, better social lives, better travels- they are doing life right. So while I may officially be "ma'am," I'm not hanging it up yet. And when you see me in 45 years, I really hope I look like this.