Oh Ma'am

Today I was the victim of a verbal assault. Okay, that's not totally true. Actually, it's not even remotely true, but a guy said something to me in the grocery store aisle that hit me like a slap to the face. What spiteful thing could have possibly been so hurtful? He said, "Oh, excuse me, ma'am."

It wasn't so much the "ma'am" that did it. I live in the South- I've been called ma'am with some regularity since I was 14. It was the speed with which this college-age guy said it. It was an automatic ma'am, which means I officially look old enough to warrant an instant, old-lady, ma'am. Ouch.

When did that happen? I mean, sure I'm poking 40 with a VERY short stick, but I'm still cool!! Nevermind that my shopping cart contained wrinkle cream and hair dye to cover all my gray, I am young and fabulous! I went to a rock show last night! On a TUESDAY! I didn't get home until AFTER MIDNIGHT! So what if my knees hurt today and I could barely drag myself out of bed this morning? I am a happening chick, not some dowdy old ma'am.

But the whole thing did make me wonder, when do you start feeling your age? I have all the trappings of adulthood- marriage, house, kids, minivan, but I still feel like the same person I was at 20. When do I become a proper matron? Will I exchange my ponytail for a beauty shop rinse and set? Will I phase out graphic t-shirts and retro dresses in favor of a sensible pantsuit? Will I stop swearing like a sailor???

I don't know, and I guess only time will tell. But I can say this for certain, the generation ahead of me, my parents and their pals, give me great hope. They're cool. They're pushing 60 or more, and they're cooler than me! Better dressed, better social lives, better travels- they are doing life right. So while I may officially be "ma'am," I'm not hanging it up yet. And when you see me in 45 years, I really hope I look like this.

You Should Make this for Dinner Tonight

"What are you making for dinner?" This is a regularly asked question in my daily 4:00 phone call with my sister. We both love to cook, love to eat, and love to find new recipes. Everybody needs new recipes, right? So I'll occasionally share one that I think is particularly yummy- like this one...

It's been rainy and cool the past couple of days. And I don't know about you, but the only thing I want to eat when it's rainy and cool is grilled cheese and tomato soup. And sure, you can crack open a can of Campbell's, and throw some Kraft singles on some Wonder bread (I'm not knocking it- that's delicious!), or you could get a little fancier. We picked fancier tonight. 

Tomato soup, man, that stuff is the nectar of the Gods. And while I have eaten many varieties in many places, this recipe remains my perennial favorite. It's not my recipe, so I don't have to type it out. I can just give you this handy dandy link, and you can thank Mrs. Ree Drummond for that treasure.  http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/sherried_tomato_soup/

Now let's get to the real deal- the grilled cheese. The jalapeno popper grilled cheese, to be exact. I don't know where this recipe comes from because I got it from my sister, and she got it from...somewhere. So, sorry if I'm I'm infringing on someone's copyright. Just take it as a compliment, because your sandwich is delicious.

There are several ways to go about this. My sister uses roasted jalapenos in hers. I don't because I like to keep my tastebuds unseared, but you do you. If you like it super spicy, substitute jalapenos for poblanos. But please, for the love of God, use gloves when you are peeling and de-seeding them. And if you don't, DO NOT touch your eyes, nose, or other sensitive bits. And if you do that, well, you're dumb. 

Without further ado, Jalapeno Popper Grilled Cheese!!

(Serves 4-ish)

Ingredients:

2-3 poblano peppers (or 6-8 jalapenos if you're brave)

jalapeno cream cheese

apricot jam

sharp cheddar cheese

good sandwich bread

1. Roast the peppers on a foil-covered cookie sheet under your oven broiler. Turn them a quarter turn about every five minutes until the skin is blackened on all sides. Put them in a large ziplock bag and let them cool. Then you'll be able to slide the skins off easily. Cut off the tops, scrape out the seeds, and slice them into strips. 

2. Time to assemble!! Spread one slice of the bread with the apricot jam (I know it sounds weird, but trust me). The other slice gets a good layer of jalapeno cream cheese. Top with sliced peppers and a slice of cheddar cheese. Put them together, and grill that sucker in a buttered skillet to golden brown, melty perfection. 

It will be spicy and sweet and gooey and wonderful. Eat until you are so full you want to die a little bit. Then go call your sister and ask her what she made for dinner. 

Photo credit- Ryan Bray- tattoo artist extraordinaire

Cleaning Up the Laundry Room/ Extreme Hutch Makeover

I don't know about you, but I spend a LOT of time in my laundry room. And it's the first room you see if you come in through the garage. So despite the fact that it's utilitarian in purpose, there's no reason it shouldn't be cute. When we bought our house, the laundry room was not cute- it was orange. Very, very orange. I'm not opposed to orange as a pop of color in a room, but the entire room? Yikes.

The laundry room was pretty far down the project list, but once I got the majority of the major rooms painted, I covered the eye-searing orange with a light, calming, greeny-blue. (Sea Salt by Sherwin Williams). We added some shoe storage cubbies, hooks for backpacks, and wire shelving for necessities like toilet paper, and light bulbs. It was functional, but it wasn't pretty.

After several months of living with it, I decided the wire shelves were the problem. Who wants to look at your bulk rolls of paper towels as soon as they walk in the door? The obvious solution was a charming hutch to hide all those unattractive necessities. I really wanted an antique Hoosier cabinet, but all the ones I found vastly exceeded the laundry room budget. I kept searching because I may be cheap, but I'm also tenacious.

I found this promising little gem on Facebook marketplace. At $40, I was willing to put aside my fears of being murdered Craigslist-style, so my husband and I drove the 40 miles to our old hometown to procure my treasure,

 It was a super easy, murder-free transaction, and within two hours I had a big, cheap hutch in my laundry room. It wasn't cute, but I had plans. Unfortunately, I also had 10 other projects going, so it had to wait awhile. It sat in the laundry room for a couple of months, looking kind of blah, but hiding the toilet paper! Last week, after finally finishing the kitchen, it was time for Extreme Hutch Makeover!

The main problem with this piece is that it wasn't solid wood. It's MDF covered with laminate. But I wasn't worried because I've tackled this before. I had two options for paint. The first was chalk paint because it sticks to anything. But it's pricey, and I didn't want to spend as much on paint as I had for the hutch. So I went with option B- primer and paint. I already had a can of Kilz, and I knew I could get by with a $6 sample can of paint. I'd tried this method a couple of years ago with a Goodwill cabinet and it worked amazingly well and has held up nicely.

I decided to be thorough, and apply two coats of primer for maximum stickability. I followed that with two coats of paint in a color I had been dying to use in my house (Drizzle by Sherwin Williams). I had planned to paint the living room this color, but it was just too dark. And while it was too much for any of my rooms, it was perfect for a piece of furniture! Since I knew the hutch would get some dings with a laundry basket, and would regularly be heaped with tools, craft supplies and other flotsam and jetsom, I applied a coat of Minwax clear polycrylic for protection.

I wanted to cover the glass doors so lovely things like my crockpot and cake carriers weren't immediately visible. I had thought I'd use some fabric, but I couldn't find a print that I loved. Then I stumbled across this roll of cool wrapping paper at Marshalls.

 It's great, heavy paper, and I have a thing for globes. (Ugh, I know, so trendy.) All it took was a piece of foam core poster board cut to the size of the glass. I wrapped the paper around it like a present and wedged the foam core into the inside frame of the door. I didn't even have to use anything to secure it because it squeezed in there just as snug as could be. And if I get tired of the paper, or want to change it seasonally, it will be a cinch to pop it out and fix it up.

I found these utterly delightful globe knobs at Hobby Lobby, and snatched them up despite the fact that they weren't on sale. I found some weathered turquoise pulls that I liked for the doors, but I managed to hold off on those until they are half off this week!

So the laundry room is finished-ish. I still want to replace the wire shelving above the washer and dryer with cabinets, but I'm waiting until I find some for next-to-nothing at Habitat Re-Store. In the meantime, I'm enjoying having closed storage and a room that is not clown orange!

See You in Hell, Popcorn

Are we finally done with the cabinets? No. No, we are not. We are mostly done- so very, very close to being done, but we're not there yet and I blame my husband for that.
 This weekend was supposed to be easy. We were going to finish up the last part of the cabinet overhaul and spend the rest of the weekend taking it easy. But then my husband got up Saturday morning, and before he'd even finished his first cup of coffee, he decided he could not live with the hideous popcorn ceiling one more second, and started scraping it off. That launched the project from Hell that consumed our entire weekend. It started like this...

 And quickly became this...

I have to take a tiny bit of the blame. Last week, one of the guys that's been working on our house since ToiletFlood 2017 (another saga for another day) came to attempt to hang my foyer light fixture for the third time (yup, a saga in and of itself.). He casually mentioned that scraping popcorn ceilings was "easy," I casually mentioned that to Matt, and this is where we wound up.

And I'll admit, scraping the popcorn off is, in fact, quite easy. Resurfacing and sanding the ceiling is a special type of horrible that I do not recommend ever undertaking without the help of professionals. Seriously, y'all, it was awful and I am unlikely to ever get the sheetrock dust out of my house despite our containment-room precautions. 

The other problem is that my husband has no previous experience resurfacing ceilings, so there are some...flaws. But honest to God, I don't even care. It looks 50 million times better than the previous dirty cottage cheese look, and who spends that much time inspecting your ceiling? We'll live with it because I cannot bear another round of plastic sheeting, skim coating, sanding and painting. Nuh uh, no way, can't make me!!! So the ceiling is done. Too bad it's only half the kitchen, and the dining area awaits! But that is my husband's problem, not mine, so back to the cabinets.

SO close to done!!! I'm finishing up the last two above the fridge, and I have to paint all the crown molding, but that's it. And they're gorgeous! The upper cabinets are painted with Amy Howard chalk paint in Ballet White, and lightly sanded. 

The lowers are painted in Amy Howard chalk paint, color-matched to Sherwin William's antique red. I painted two coats of the red, then covered them with a black wash made of black craft paint and water. I painted it on, let it sit a minute, then wiped it off. It toned down the red, and gave them the aged "old barn" look I was going for.

That's a tiny piece of paper on the floor, not an

old french fry. Though it could easily be an old fry. 

It just happens to be paper this time. 

 I didn't sand the edges of the bottom cabinets because I didn't want to get too rustic. I finished them off with a coat of minwax polycrylic in clear satin, and new handles, and I LOVE THEM. The black appliances that I can't afford to replace blend in nicely, and I love my very patriotic red and white cabinets against the blue walls.The final upgrade was taking down the dusty, greasy old ceiling fan, and trading it for a simple warehouse pendant fixture that I spray painted cherry red. 

The end of cabinet chaos is finally in sight. I'm bound and determined to have it finished before the weekend, despit the fact that it's spring break, and I have the cold from hell. But I've got to get this one finished so I can move on to the next one!!!