Finding Balance

Over the years I've had lots of people tell me, "I just don't know how you do it all!" Short answer- I don't. When I start a new project, I hyper-focus on it in true ADHD fashion, and tune out all of the fighting kids, blaring televisions, and incessant requests for snacks. I paint and paint and paint while everything goes to hell around me. The laundry piles up, the house descends into a mildly horrifying level of filth, and the children are seen outdoors in badly mismatched clothes and unbrushed hair (and one of them may or may not have been going commando).

Fact is, I have trouble finding balance. That became glaringly obvious when my eldest interrupted my extreme cabinet makeover yesterday to ask what we were having for dinner. I just gazed at him blankly and thought, "huh, I wonder if we even have any food?" As I was desperately attempting to thaw some half-frozen chicken in the microwave, I realized that I might be verging on out of control.

Part of it is due to my own lack of patience. I just want to get it done and everything else be damned. I also blame HGTV. I've gotten so used to the big reveal at the end of the hour that it seems unfathomable that anything should take longer. So when I tackle a huge, multi-day project, I instinctively work feverishly at it until it's done, and I get my big reveal moment. What can I say? Admiring a finished project is my runner's high. Freshly painted surfaces are my drug of choice. But as with any addiction, there are consequences.

This morning, as soon as my husband and kids were out of the house, I diligently set up my painting station and got to work- and promptly ran out of paint. My immediate instinct was to run to the hardware store to get more (See?? I'm a freakin' DIY junkie!), but then I paused for a moment, looked around, saw the utter chaos that had befallen my house, and put down the paint brush.

It was time to step away and focus on everything I'd been neglecting. I didn't pick up a brush or a roller the rest of the day. I didn't even go buy more paint. I cleaned and shined, and fluffed and folded, and made things generally habitable. I even tackled the boys' disgusting bathroom (I'll spare you the details on that one in case you're eating, or ever want to eat again). I made a full dinner that required no emergency thawing. The children got haircuts. They all have clean clothes and plenty of underwear. Order is restored! For now.

Striking the balance between project mania and basic maternal responsibilities is likely to always be a struggle, but I'll keep trying. After all, a pretty house doesn't count for much if you forget to take care of the people that live in it!